My Father, the Hero

18 Jul

I know what you think this is:

You think, oh sure. Why don’t you get a mustache tattooed on your finger. You probably like deer, too, don’t you?

No, I don’t like deer, thank you very much. And I would never get a finger tattoo, they last six months tops and what am I, a resident of Philadelphia? Please. That is my impression of my father. My father, who looks roughly like this:

I’d post an actual picture but the poor man has suffered enough. I mean, I’m his daughter.

ANYWAY, you can see how the whole finger / mustache thing came about. The man has a mustache and, as far as I can tell, he’s had it since he was about five years old. He shaved it off once and my older sister wouldn’t talk to him til it grew back. So for about 24 hours. For years, my sisters and I have been doing (loving) impressions of Dad via the finger mustache. And it has since been co-opted by hipster grifters who are ironic but don’t know the definition of irony. Fuck you guys, and go apologize to your mothers. I’ll wait.

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