Things I Have Learned From My Father

17 Oct

1. If a man refers to all other men as “boss” and all women as “miss,” then he has spent some time in the clinker.

2. No back pockets on your pants = weird-looking butt.

3. Everything is going to be okay.

4. Most physical ailments can be cured by a Coca Cola.

5. There are worse things than being poor.

6. A special occasion calls for pork.

7. If you’re really, truly in love, then distance means fuck all.

8. Never marry a Yankee. (I did, and look how that turned out.)

9. Give what you can, when you can.

10. Most food is better the next day.

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