Infrequently Asked Questions

13 May

Why did you name your blog No Mittens, No Pie? 

The name comes from the children’s book, The Three Little Kittens. It was my favorite book. I used to recite it to my father on the telephone when he was away on business trips. Not to ruin the plot or anything, but the kittens lose their mittens and as a result don’t get any pie. Sob. 

Do your sisters think you’re a dick for sharing family stories to your 3 readers? 

I’m not sure. I think the Little Sister enjoys my version of the stories, the Older Sister maybe not as much. What’s interesting is that we all remember things from our childhood a bit differently, but that also makes it hard to tell stories and have them be 100% true. 

Why don’t you wear underwear and will you please stop talking about it? 

I stopped wearing underwear when I was married. I had gained quite a bit of weight and underwear felt binding and the opposite of sexy. I decided to free vulva it as sort of a way to reclaim my body. I don’t think it’s sexy not to wear undies (it’s actually unsexy) and I guess now, yes, I will stop talking about it. 

Will you ever get over your stupid divorce? 

Nah. But I do hope that I will get around it. 

Will you ever write for money again? 

I hope not. I’ve lost the spirit for that kind of work. I don’t imagine that, beyond these navel-gazing missives, I will write much again. I might write a book and potentially I am already imagining my interview on Chelsea Lately, but I don’t see myself at the Sacramento Bee anytime soon. I’d rather be a farmer. 

So what are you going to do with your dumb life? 

For now, I am going to keep making good money working in objectionable industries and see what happens. I’m also going to start running and clean out the closet in my living room. 

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One Response to “Infrequently Asked Questions”

  1. srdailey May 14, 2012 at 12:40 pm #

    Running is dope, you should do that.

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