Archive | December, 2013

Reaping

29 Dec

Each year on my ex-husband’s birthday, I buy myself something fucking expensive. The first year without him, I bought a $300 pair of shit kicking boots that I wore for 12 hours a day / 7 days a week for the next 18 months. Those things broke down faster than our marriage and I cried actual tears when I threw them in the dumpster.

This year, I bought myself a new life. I signed a lease up in Points North and I’m leaving this here city. Grand Rapids has broken my heart and it’s time for a change. I’ve prayed for a change, poked and prodded at the stars. It’s here, and I’m leaving.

I feel sentimental, but I also don’t feel sentimental at all. This is disgusting, but I became a woman in this city. There are so many skeletons in so many closets here, and I keep tripping over ghosts. I’m angry things haven’t gone the way I want them. I’m so fucking lucky I have a chance to start over. 2013 was, in many ways, a year of second chances for me and what do you know? They saved the best for last.